Roy Janik [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Roy Janik

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(no subject) [Oct. 14th, 2014|02:36 am]
You spend your whole life trying to build a time machine. There's so much to learn. So much to do. You drag entire fields of physics kicking and screaming from the realm of the hypothetical into the realm of the known. There's no time for rest. No time for love. No time for friends.

When you're 95, you finally succeed. You breathe calmly, set the machine back 75 years, and hit the button.

You spend the next hour trying to convince your 20 year old self that dedicating his (your) life to this insane quest isn't worth it. But it's no good. He's 20, and he's flipping out that you just traveled through time.

You finally give up and turn to leave, but he beans you over the head with a science fair trophy and steals your ride.

Congratulations. You EITHER just destroyed the universe or figured out a way to circumvent that whole lifetime of study thing.

Stranded and aimless, you head to the nearest bar.
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(no subject) [Jan. 5th, 2014|06:18 pm]
There's so little traffic on Livejournal now that lj-cuts are totally unnecessary in my book.
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fine [Nov. 8th, 2013|04:58 pm]
Okay, it's worth mentioning that I was feeling pretty good for about 8 hours. Got a lot of crap done yesterday, and whittled down my inbox. Went to sleep feeling accomplished.  
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holding [Nov. 6th, 2013|12:53 pm]
Nadine told me I should post more to Livejournal, and that also I should post when I'm in a good mood. Still waiting!
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Only in Dreams [May. 17th, 2013|11:22 am]

Had an extensive, two part dream last night.

The world was ending. In the first scenario, I wasn't sure as to what exactly was happening to the world. But apparently people were mass fleeing north. I was with the first wave of people headed that way, so it wasn't super gridlocked yet. I don't remember much of the details, except that it was inevitable, imminent, and sad.

The dream was disturbing, and I remember wanting out of it. It gradually dawned on me that I might be dreaming, so I woke up. It was like 7:58. I knew I'd pass out again, and I also remember trying to shake the dream off so that I wouldn't experience part 2.

No such luck. This time the mood stayed the same, but the details changed, and in retrospect, it was kind of hilarious.

This time I was not with the first wave of refugees. I was still in Austin, and it was quickly becoming obvious that most people were fleeing.

I *still* had no idea what was destroying the world. But apparently whatever it was was going to be gradual, and by moving north you could buy yourself some time... maybe even enough time to live out your life comparatively normally.

I remember asking people what the deal was... explaining as I did so that I'd been busy lately with The Hideout and theatre stuff, and hadn't really been paying close attention to the news.

Finally, I experienced what was wrong with the world. Clouds started rolling in over Austin. But they weren't clouds. It was a solid sheets of ice, like you're under a glacier or something, and they were super low. It only really made dream sense. Someone explained that basically oil spills and carbon dioxide and other things had taken their toll, and now basically this huge frozen hurricane thing was coming onto land.

So end of the world, sure. But it would take a while.

ANYhow, I go to the Hideout. The baristas are all excited, because the owners of a nearby furniture and clothing store who is understandably fleeing the apocalypse, has told us we can have all their stock. So we're redecorating the interior. I like the new furniture, but also have some constructive comments.

So, the End of the World... temporarily good for the Hideout!


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A Song for the End of the World [Aug. 10th, 2012|10:53 am]
Awesome dream last night, mainly because it was set in a sub-sub-genre of science fiction that I love... the quiet apocalypse. You know, those stories where everyone knows the world is ending, and can see it coming, but it's not quite here yet? Most recently, Seeking a Friend for the End of the World (which I haven't seen yet) is in that vein. Also the lovely "Last Night". I'm sure there are others.

I can't remember much of the details now.

I have no idea what the impending doom was, but either it would be a slow process or the lead up would crumble civilization, because we were preparing for some serious end-times action. I know that I and a few other people had a fortified, sprawling complex ready to go and over-stocked with supplies to hold out as long as possible.

Our attitudes were the most interesting things. We weren't horribly concerned. We were more curious how stuff would shake out. How long we would last, how we would die, etc.

Also, it wasn't entirely clear that everybody believed it. I think like 80% of the world did. The newspapers were oddly silent on the subject, as if being in denial.

I should say that this is one of those dreams that lingered a bit, so that for a few moments after waking, I took the premise as simple truth, and had to have a conscious realization that the world wasn't ending (that I know of). So that's nice.
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swingset [Aug. 9th, 2012|02:36 pm]
In a foul, foul mood today. Guilt and shame and obsession all boiling around, and it's hard to shake.

But screw that!

I wanna focus on good stuff instead. Had a great rehearsal with PGraph yesterday. Every time we actually get off our bums and do improv in rehearsal, it makes me very happy. We did one very simple exercise, and it made for some of the most satisfying, interesting improv I've been involved in recently.

I made a video for the postcard game I commissioned from Marc, which made me feel a little less guilty about spending The Hideout's money on the project:

I haven't exactly started losing weight in droves, but I have been making smarter choices the past couple of days, and I think I'm building up momentum. Even though I don't talk about it much, my health is my number one source of stress, and I think if I could get a handle on that, I'd be a much happier Roy.

I've been reading lots of Lovecraft for the Black Vault, and as a result I'm feeling really inspired in rehearsals. I'm on track to finish reading every solo work of fiction the man wrote before our first show. I'm bursting at the seams with ideas, which is a good place to be. 

*whew*. Already feel a little better.
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(no subject) [Aug. 1st, 2012|01:55 pm]
Trying to take some real, honest attempts to make positive change in my life.

My theatre work demands that I be tapped into Facebook, but I'm going to try and be there as little as possible.
It's an addiction and a time suck. Which is awful, because I've met so many wonderful people around the world in Austin, and this is the only way I can maintain any sense of connection with a lot of them. 
But when I feel a constant need to refresh a stupid webpage, I'm not making the best use of my life. 
Similarly, I need to get healthy. Like real healthy. Unfortunately, the only thing I can ever think to do when I'm not doing improv is to go out for food and/or drinks with people. Also, I LIKE drinking and I LIKE food. They make me happy.

Basically, if I had the guts I would give up Facebook, drinking, and eating out for a while. But I'm afraid that would make me completely antisocial.

But I also imagine that learning to go out, drink water, and just find joy in talking to other people would make me more social in the long run.
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(no subject) [Jul. 25th, 2012|06:23 pm]
Well, I managed to accomplish 2 of the 3 plumbing tasks. I replaced the broken stopper in the bathroom sink, and I installed a new garbage disposal.

There were compromises every step of the way, and I'm not entirely convinced that shit won't start leaking, but it's something, right? 

Still in a relatively foul mood, but clouds are parting.

Need some chicken.

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43 Hour Improv Marathon Wrap-Up [Jun. 5th, 2012|11:17 pm]
I've been talking up a storm about the 43 Hour Marathon on Facebook, and I just don't want to stop. 

I'm not even sure what I have to say at this point, but I don't want to let it go. I know it's narcissistic, but I just feel so good about it.

First off, the Marathon was run better than ever. Kaci, Kareem, and Andy took turns running the show, and with a legion of volunteers, it went off without a hitch. 

The audiences were up across the board, and there were no almost totally dead hours, like there have been in the past. I think the smallest house we had was 10.

That was of course in large part due to the Hardcore 4: 4 women who watched the entire Marathon. How awesome is that?

We did a ton of work in the lead up this year. Loads of blog posts, full color mailers, 2 press releases, 3 runs of posters, arranging volunteers, and in general just beating the hammer loudly.

I also feel like I put together the best collection of shows/groups so far. I learn a bit more each year about what works and what doesn't. Preview of next year: more shows that are deliberately more patient, or specifically 2-3 person scenes... not boring, but just making it possible to have scenes that breathe. 

That's the logistics of the running of things. I'm super proud. It was a lot of hard work. I'm sure the Marathon will lose money as it usually does, but the payoff in terms of community good will, bonding, and general buzz is more than worth it.

As a performer, I had a wonderful time.

Actually, I did the Marathon 2 years ago and it was amazing. You can read my show wrap-up here:

This time felt a little different, but equally awesome, and more personally rewarding for myself in terms of self-esteem. Part of it I'm sure is that I had 2 more years of experience under my belt.The thing is, I had been beating myself up a bit about the last Marathon because I held back in some shows, and just didn't participate much in some of them. I loved all of it, but felt that I could have contributed more.

This time my whole goal was to throw myself into every show, regardless of if I felt like I knew what I was doing, or if I felt worthy.

And it totally paid off. I played bolder than I normally do, tried things I haven't done before (Rock Opera!), and surprised myself. Was I always 100% confident? Hell No! But I put that fear aside and went for it anyways. It helped having Jill Bernard around. She's always throwing herself into things quickly and at 1000%, so I just kind of followed her example.

The cast in particular was incredible. There was very little drama, and everyone at least was there for every show. Sometimes they'd immediately go to sleep backstage, but I'll let that pass. Between every show our mantra was "I still like you," and that remained the truth. I felt like I was surrounded by generous players who weren't letting anything get in the way of the work.

Some takeways/things I want to work on:
  • The Marathon sealed the fact that I want to do more musical improv. I'm thinking about putting together a little side project to explore that more. I had a blast in GGG, Drum Machine, and ROCK. I don't have the best voice, but I seem to be able to come up with lyrics on the fly alright, and as long as I overcommit, it's been working out. The thing I like most about it is that once I'm singing, I get totally out of my head. There's just no time for me to think, and so it's easy to lose myself... which is something I'm always chasing in improv.
  • I suck at mining information from monologues or interviews given at the top of a show. I mean, I can do it for the first scene, but remembering what was said once the show is going is a skill I still need to work on. I guess it just takes practice.
  • I start withdrawing if I'm in a montage and things are too crazy/unhooked from reality. I don't quite know how to enter. I need to learn how to handle freewheeling montage type shows better in general.
  • I'm a little more okay with the fact that I'm always smiling and having a good time onstage. This has been something I've been pretty perturbed with lately... my propensity to break in scenes. But again, watch my fellow Marathoners, all of whom I admire greatly... my favorite moments were still when they lost it, or were clearly happy to be there. I just need to trust that if ta scene calls for gravitas, I'll be able to do the right thing.
I can't even really begin to describe how great everyone was. I hadn't done much improv with Ratliff, Eric, Emma, or Jill before the Marathon, but they were all as generous, kind, and talented onstage as I suspected. And Marc, Halyn, and Jon were as great as they always are.

Maybe this'll satisfy me for a while.

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