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Roy Janik

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Damn Kris Kristofferson all to Hell! [Aug. 3rd, 2001|09:51 am]
Roy Janik
Lee, is there still a recording of my screaming "Damn you all to Hell!"? If so, I would comically insert it here. At any rate, Planet of the Apes rather sucked. Sorry. Some of the ape makeup was fabulous, and some of it was completely laughable. Especially the female apes. I swear they looked no more realistic than the female frogs in Hell Comes to Frogtown. Meh. The gorillas were done the best by far, though.

Actually, if you remove the sight gags and homages to the original, the ape culture was an engrossing creation. The armour, the interplay b/w monkey species 1 and monkey species 2 (NOT MONKEY!) was handled sublty and elegantly, and the culture as a whole came off as believable but not too human-like. I think this is what Tim Burton does well, and what he was solely interested in. He spent a great deal of time weaving a reasonable fantastic world wholly alien to us. Unfortunately, he should have spent more time on the plot.

Yes, of course, there are holes in the plot a mile wide. But meh. I really don't care. To discuss them I'd have to give away the movie. It all pales in comparison to Kris Kristofferson, anyhow. Jesus Christ. Has anyone fucking SEEN Millenium besides me? Shoot him. Shoot him in the head. For the love of God don't cast him in a movie. As a human, no less.

*sigh*
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: swordfish
2001-08-03 12:56 pm (UTC)
ok, painful admission time.
i was really attracted to Helena Bonham Carter in that movie. i am hoping that it was because i knew it was helena bonham carter (who is uber-hot)underneath the monkeyface, and not because deep down, i want to fuck a simian.
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[User Picture]From: cailin23
2001-08-03 04:18 pm (UTC)
Monkey Fucker
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[User Picture]From: zinereem
2001-08-03 08:54 pm (UTC)
Monkey Fucker.
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[User Picture]From: ericfish
2001-08-04 07:14 pm (UTC)
Monkey Fucker
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From: ex_foot17
2001-08-05 04:10 am (UTC)
Ape fucker
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[User Picture]From: swordfish
2001-08-06 03:02 pm (UTC)
i hate all of you. all of you.
NOT MONKEY. NEVER CALL AN APE A MONKEY.
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[User Picture]From: zeitgeist
2001-08-03 03:09 pm (UTC)
Visually, I liked the movie. I was very annoyed by the comic relief character, though. Firstly, I don't think the story needs a comic relief character. Secondly, his conversion near the end of the movie was way too sudden and whole-hearted to be the slightest bit believable.

blah blah plot blah blah character development blah blah predictability blah blah Tim Burton can do better blah blah blah.

..and stuff.
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