Roy Janik (zinereem) wrote,
Roy Janik

the amazingly insane journey of Ray, Derick, and Orlando

All right, the reason I haven't posted for the past couple of days is because James, Eric, and I all journeyed to Tuscaloosa, AL this weekend. Twas the first time since I graduated that I went back.

It all started on Thursday night when I went with Kareem to Fry's Electronics to buy a PDA (refurbished Visor Platinum with expando keyboard). Properly equipped, we set out Friday around 5:30 for Alabama...

Why? God, why?

Wes and Raina were flying there themselves, and we decided it would be REALLY funny to show up unannounced wearing monocles and moustaches, pretending to be other people (Ray, Derick, and Orlando).

a 12 hour drive both ways for a 3-minute joke... seemed like a good idea at the time. We told John, Tami, and Raina that we were coming, so that we had co-conspirators.

At any rate, the journey started off right, when Eric got a speeding ticket in Houston. 78 in a 70. I guess it was a slow night or something. , here he comes! We were extraordinarily funny on the way there, but it's all of the "I guess you had to be there" variety. Eric did the first quarter of the trip, and then I took over and pushed all the way through to T-town. Reckon it took us exactly 12 hours.

We arrived at Lee's place, knocked on the door, and set off the dog. The dog, Lucy, a little weiner, just went completely crazy. Eventually, Heather answered the door, groggy eyed and glaring death at us. :) Sorry 'bout that.

We crashed out in the living room, woke up at 11:00, took showers, and met Tami at Cancun. Thus the eating binge began. I had a chicken chimichanga. Funny story about that. I think most of my credit card debt that I amassed in college was Cancun chimichanga based. And it was worth every penny.

We met up with John, wandered around campus, stole some chips, and then headed to Wings. We spotted Wes's rent-a-car in the parking lot. I mean, with a Nightmare before Christmas CD inside, it had to be his, right?

The moment was upon us.

We spirit-gummed the fake moustaches to our upper lips, and put the plastic monocles over our eyes. I somehow got the short straw and had the evil villain handlebar moustache, but that's neither here nor there. We strolled in, walked right past Wes, and sat down at an empty table.

I believe his exact words were: "What the ... Eh. What? huh?"

Mission accomplished. Of course, Wes was wearing a kilt, so between the 4 of us, the weirdo factor was pretty high. Since we were at Wings, we ate again. Ugh.

God this is long... highlights now:

  • Watching The State at Tami's domicile. I'd forgotten just how funny that show is. Must push The Bastard Squad even higher...

  • Watching The Phantom Menace at Nick's trailer. First of all, he lives in the middle of nowhere, and we got severely lost getting there. Secondly, he's go the biggest TV in the world, a 60 inch widescreen High Definition thingy with giant surround sound speakers. Wow. Lee grilled out there, so we ate YET AGAIN.

  • Hanging out at a local bar, Catch-22, drinking with my friends. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US HAVE A LIVEJOURNAL ACCOUNT.

  • Drinking later that night on Tami's porch. Ah, blue goo.

  • Visiting Colleen's mom at her job (funeral home). Maybe that wasn't the right time to be wearing the "I was in a loving relationship and all I got was this lousy t-shirt" shirt. She was happy to see me though, and we took some funny pictures.

  • Staying up until 5:00 in the morning, talking to Lee about girls, how to record comedy, and top-secret ways for revolutionizing the internet and making money in the process

And then there's the trip home. It was completely insane, as we were delirious and drunk off of far too much food at this point. This, of course, didn't stop us from going to Waffle House, and acquiring 3 paper Waffle House hats, which we wore for the next 11 hours.

I can't properly convey the madness, but Eric saw bears riding camels, we conceived the idea of PARTYVEMBER, got lost in Dallas, and had dinner with Jill.

I regret nothing!
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