I am destroying myself for my art, and I still cringe when I call it that. it gets no respect. its audience exists as a potential, not as something physical. and that is heartbreaking when everything you create is gone the moment you create it. When I am not performing, I am rehearsing. When I am not rehearsing, I am planning. scheming. promoting. updating. submitting. cajoling. pleading. smoothing. worrying.
I am okay with this. as long as we're in it together, i will go forever. but i still yearn for the pay-off. the turning people away from the door. the energy that comes with a packed house. the glow that comes from a stranger saying: